


living double

by pearltiare



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Post canon, Talk of mental illness, all lowercase, main focus is on pareo, maybe a month or two, not far past canon though, space between punctuation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearltiare/pseuds/pearltiare
Summary: chu2 realizes that although pareo has made it a point to understand chu2 and her world, she hasn't done the same for her, at least not often. she decides to take a train to spend a day with her girlfriend.
Relationships: Nyubara Reona/Tamade Chiyu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	living double

**Author's Note:**

> i've wanted to do a parechu fic with pareo as the main focus for a while, so i've finally gotten around to it !!
> 
> dedicated to my friend maddie, thank you for the support on my fics and cosplays, ily <3

chu2 loved pareo, that wasn't a secret. although she never would admit it out loud to anyone other than the keyboardist herself, it was rather obvious that pareo was her love, her darling, the subject of her affection. it was strange being in love so young, it's not like chu2 had ever planned to fall in love in the first place- but every day that she spent alongside her band mate- no, her girlfriend, made her even more sure of the fact that she wouldn't have it any other way.

but one of those days, when she was snuggled up against pareo after she had helped get chores done (chu2 didn't wanna bother housekeeping at this hour in the morning), she realized just how much the girl had done for her, and she begun to feel a pit in her stomach. not anxiety necessarily, but doubt, she thought. doubt that pareo would stick around, that she was enough for her, etc. pareo was always bending over backwards, sideways, all directions for chu2, whether it was helping her study for tests, composing songs with her, running errands (usually to only get jerky), even going as far as to travel around three hours to practice multiple times a week. she was so, so selfless, especially to chu2, and she was only just now realizing that.

"chu2, are you okay ?"

she was shaken out of her thoughts by pareo speaking to her in a rather soft tone, maybe she thought she had fallen asleep ?

"yeah.. i'm alright."

pareo raised an eyebrow in response, and replied in a sing-song tone,

"chu2, you know if something is on your mind, pareo is here to listen !~"

chu2 just groaned. god, it would probably sound stupid saying it out loud. 'hey, you're doing too much for me, and i feel really bad.' that would worry her, more than anything most likely. it wasn't necessarily that chu2 felt like she was a bad girlfriend- well, she did, but besides the point, she wanted to be as selfless as the keyboardist and put just as much effort into her as she received. she wanted to get more involved in pareo's world, in her life behind the scenes of raise a suilen. she lived quite far from the penthouse, and she had found out only a month ago that her girlfriend was living a double life, but despite all that, chu2 loved pareo. it was only fair for her to become not only part of her life, but also part of her world.

chu2 let out a sigh.

"actually.. i think i want to visit your town."

pareo's eyes went a little wide at this, and she almost had to ask chu2 to repeat herself- someone wanting to visit pareo was rare. her mother was almost always working late shifts, so the girl was pretty used to being alone at this point.

"but chu2's home is nice as well, right ? are you sure you want to come visit me ?"

chu2 nodded, and turned around to face her lover. she reached behind the couch to get her phone, then opened her internet browser to local train stations.

"what train do you take home ?"

pareo moved to look at the screen herself, then ended up just taking it into her hands and booking a ticket for the following afternoon, when she was planning to go. luckily, the seat next to her wasn't taken yet, so the girls could sit together. that came as a relief to chu2, she didn't think she could possibly make it through a three hour ride without her girlfriend by her side. it was getting rather late, and pareo's eyes were becoming heavy, so they decided it was time to call it a day. chu2 got up from beside pareo (as much as she didn't want to), turned all the light switches off, made sure to put a "do not disturb" sign on her outside doorknob, then made her way back over to her favorite person in the world. pareo gladly took chu2 into her arms, and the pair fell asleep rather quickly.

♡ 

stepping off the train, chu2 had to be held up for support by pareo. even though it was only an overnight bag, chu2 had packed _way_ too much, and the backpack was much too big for her. big enough that it had almost knocked her down a good amount of times. pareo was always giggling somewhere to the side, but she rushed to the dj's side as soon as she could to help her up. she had offered to carry the bag several times, but chu2 always insisted that she was fine. holding onto the smaller girl's hand, pareo helped her get to a bench so they could take a breather before walking to her place.

chu2 was out of breath sitting down on that bench, but she asked,

"so, how far is your house from here ?"

"about five minutes, the train i take is very close !"

chu2 let out a relieved sigh. five minutes wasn't too long, and she was more than ready to put her bag down somewhere. she was nervous, sure, she had been to pareo's town once, but never visited her home or stayed in it for long. she was just hoping, praying that she wouldn't mess something up.

she stood up once she was ready to start walking to pareo's, and she put her hand out for the taller girl to grab. there were people around, sure, but they were mostly middle aged and elderly folks, most likely getting back from work. public displays of affection were okay for now. the tiny dj took in the sights around her, the parks, the children playing in their backyards, the lack of tall buildings and crowds. chiba was definitely different from tokyo, or any city really, but it was oddly nice. it felt quiet, peaceful here.

"we're here !"

pareo announced. it was a decent sized stand-alone home, with a nameplate reading 'nyubara' on the wall closing it in. the keyboardist went to the doorstep, got a key out from her bag and unlocked the door. she looked behind her, and made a 'come in' gesture with her hand. chu2 did so, and she looked around the home. the kitchen lights were dim, the living room looked like it hadn't been used in quite a while, and although it was clean, it looked like pareo didn't spend much time outside of her room at all. there was a note on the table from the previous night, when pareo had slept at chu2's that read,

'i know you're at your friend's again, but please do the dishes once you're home. i'll be working late again tonight, i'll be home early tomorrow.

mom'

ah. that's why she hadn't mentioned her family. single mother, chu2 assumed, but she didn't want to pry, so she didn't bother to ask.

"i know it's not very exciting, but i make the best of it !"

pareo giggled, and she grabbed hold of chu2's wrist to speed-walk to her bedroom. she flicked on the lights, and the dj had to take a moment to process what was going on. her room was so bright, especially compared to the rest of the home. pastel*palettes posters and shelves with pastel*palettes plushies covered the walls, even more stuffed animals on her bed, which had multiple pillows and pink throw blankets on it. there was a keyboard up against one of the walls and a stool- the same one she played in the video that chu2 found and scouted her from. a necklace that was gifted to her by her girlfriend was on the girl's dresser, along with ticket stubs from pastel*palettes concerts. well, it was obvious who her favorite band was.

pareo sat down on the bed, and began,

"why did you want to visit pareo ?"

chu2 looked over to her girlfriend before she continued,

"pareo isn't all that exciting, you know, and her hometown isn't either."

hearing this tugged at chu2's heartstrings a bit, she had always known that pareo had quite low self-esteem. but hearing it said so casually just seemed different, and she felt herself growing a little angry. not at her, but for whoever, or whatever had made the girl feel so bad about herself.

chu2 sat down next to her on her bed, and said with a bit of a blush dusting her cheeks,

"you're always doing so much for me, and for ras.. yet i've never really made the same effort to be part of your world. so.. i felt bad."

pareo made an 'o' shape with her mouth, and replied,

"chu2, you don't need to worry about pareo ! i'm alright, and my life outside of raise a suilen is pretty.. well, boring !"

chu2 shook her head.

"no, pareo, i want to know you better... please."

pareo looked down for a second, and then laid down on her back. chu2 looked back at her girlfriend and waited for her to begin speaking,

"well, i guess you know that pareo has been living double... so what else did you want to know ?"

chu2 shrugged. anything was fine, she just wanted to know more about the girl.

she took a deep breath in, and began,

"i guess i've enjoyed myself as pareo much more, i don't like being called by my birth name outside of school anymore. i've become so used to being raise a suilen's keyboard player, and the girl i want to be- the cute, carefree, energetic, inspiring girl i've wanted to be for so long. but outside of that, before chu2 scouted pareo, i guess i've been quite dull.. my family doesn't speak to me much, my mother is almost always away at work, my classmates see me as the honor student i pretend to be."

chu2 nodded, and waited for her to continue. the guilt inside her began to grow a little. if she knew that pareo felt like this, she would've started being selfless a long, long time ago. even before they started dating. the taller girl began twiddling her thumbs,

"i've had anxiety, and depression for a good while.. and ras has become my happy place. i don't like to talk about myself or my background much.. i guess because it brings back memories. i don't want to live in the past, i just want to keep moving forward, as pareo."

chu2 had to take a moment to process what was said. silence filled the room during that moment, she had to gather herself before possibly trying to muster up something to say. what pareo was saying definitely made sense, she had been through a good amount of anxiety herself. she didn't like talking about her past much either, as it felt like she was just reliving her past with every single word she spoke. she hadn't really dealt with depression, but putting up a front, being weighed down by other's expectations, and having an absent family was something the dj knew very well. she laid down next to the taller girl.

"pareo.. i.. i'm sorry. but i'm here. you're more than enough for me."

never did chu2 think she would be speaking such gentle words, but it was for pareo. and chu2 was willing to be vulnerable and potentially embarrass herself around pareo. she took her hand, and didn't say anything else. the silence in the room spoke for itself. the sound of cars driving by, birds singing outside was enough. it was comforting, oddly, and pareo scooted in closer to chu2.

"could chu2 hold me, please ?"

she asked in a whisper. chu2 hadn't held her girlfriend often, but she was more than willing to right now. she was proud of her for opening up, and now proud of herself for making a point to know her better. pareo was at chu2's shoulder, and her legs intertwined with hers. chu2 was petting her hair lightly, and feeling pareo sigh against her. pareo couldn't recall the last time she felt this relaxed, this safe, this _understood._ she closed her eyes, not due to fatigue, but just due to how terribly calm she felt in this moment. it felt good to be held, to be comforted like this.

chu2 reached down to press a chaste kiss to the girl's forehead, followed by pareo looking up at her with a small smile. it wasn't often that the dj was this soft, or rather bold. it felt nice. chu2 felt nice. the keyboardist looked into her blue eyes for just a minute- occasionally glancing down at her lips. god, she could kiss her right now, but was it the right time ? it's not like the couple hadn't kissed before, but it wasn't like they did it often either, so was right now okay ? it seemed like chu2 was thinking the same thing as she was, though, because she leaned down yet again to close the gap between them.

pareo swore her heart stopped beating for a few seconds, and she forgot how to breathe. they stayed like that for a moment, yet it didn't seem nearly long enough. when they broke apart, pareo was smiling, and put her chin to rest on chu2's shoulder. life was tough, mental illness was tough, living double was tough. but as long as chu2 was by her side, she had a feeling it would be okay.

"i love you, chu2."

"i love you too."


End file.
